When I got home I started calling. I called my GP – Dr. N. I booked an appointment for Monday to get referrals to other surgeons. I called a naturopathic health centre in Newmarket and booked an appointment with Autumn, a naturopath, for the following Wednesday and with her nutritionist for some seemingly new age testing. Dr. S was right, she did recommend surgery. However, she also recommended lots of natural remedies. I called Chris M. Just like me, he was shocked. None of us believed it would be this bad. I found in Chris, the someone who knew my pain and in that found comfort. Chris had Hepatitis ‘C’ contracted from a blood transfusion – he’s a hemophiliac. Five minutes after we hung up, Carol, Chris’ wife showed up at my door. Chris had called and told her. She took Amy and told me to bring John with me to eat dinner at their place after I met with Donna.
At Donna’s I was met with hugs and tears. Her kids looked on very somberly. We went into the living room and cried. I don’t really remember what we talked about – specifically. John arrived and we cried some more. Donna asked if they were able to get me a juicer, would I use it. Of course, but how do I accept such a gift? Donna told me that we need to learn to receive as well as to give. She said that arrogance keeps us from receiving God’s gifts. So I needed to trust in God and receive His gifts. We left and went to Chris and Carol’s and had dinner. I think at that point, shock and numbness had set in. Once home I called my sister Julie. I hadn’t told her I’d been for the biopsy, hadn’t told her about the tumour. The fewer people worried the better.
I actually slept well that night. When I woke in the morning I was devastated. I stared at the ceiling and cried – completely lost.
I spent the bulk of that day, Friday, trying to be “there” for Amy, but many times found myself not “there”. I wondered what her life was going to be like after I died. How would she cope without her mommy? How would John cope? Would our friends be able to find him a Christian wife who would love Amy and bring her up with God? I was morose.
That evening, Donna called and told me she and Greg were going to be at Chris and Carol M’s for dinner and we were invited to join them. Thankfully, again I didn’t have to cook. After I spoke with Donna, a friend from church, Shannon called. I hadn’t spoken to Shannon on the phone in months – and was pleased to hear from her. She’d heard about my diagnosis. She said that God had told her to give me her juicer – before she’d even heard about the diagnosis. I thought perhaps she had spoken with Donna about it and they’d agreed she’d give me her old one, but no she hadn’t spoken with Donna. WOW. We spoke about healing bible verses – she would share them with me. The previous fall Shannon had come close to death due to a heart condition. We spoke about the healing benefits of juicing. She would come over Monday night, bring the juicer and some tapes on juicing.
Shannon and I were on the phone for five minutes, perhaps ten. When I took her call, I was still morose. When I hung up I was filled with joy, euphoria. I wasn’t just happy ‘cause I was getting a free juicer. God took my pain and fear away! While I was distracted, He took it away. I felt peace. Still cranky, but cranky peace. Amy and I went to Chris and Carol M’s and shortly after we got there, another friend Mary Ann arrived. She was shocked and wanted to hold me and cry. Poor Mary Ann. I held her and told her don’t worry, be happy! I was going to be fine. God said so.
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